To Have or Not to Have ..........

Once again I have been confronted with the question: one child or many?  Every day I drive past a grossly overweight woman sitting in the shade of a tree with her baby and toddler whilst her other three raggedy children (somewhere between the ages of 5 and 12) stand in the blazing sun at a robot, begging.  And I’ve tried to involve Child Welfare but their hands are tied and there is nothing they can do about this blatant child labour.

But be that as it may I still ponder the question: one child or many?  Séan and I made the decision when I was still pregnant with Jerry that we wouldn’t have more children and if I was able to go back I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat.  There is absolutely no way that we would be in a position to pay double the school fees that we are now paying and that’s just the tip of the iceberg: there are still clothes, uniforms, food, extramural activities, entertainment etc.  The thought of all these things times two or times three makes my palms sweat.

Jerry’s school offers a discount for families who have more than four children at the school.  MORE than FOUR CHILDREN!!! You must be out of your tree!!

My Jerry has pretty much everything that her heart desires (although she probably has a list of things as long as her arm to prove me wrong).  And this includes on all levels: emotionally, physically, mentally etc.  She can quite happily sneak a night in Mom and Dad’s bed which wouldn’t happen if there were more kidlets.  She gets more carried, tickled, played with, humoured, laughed with(at), clothed, fed, disciplined, chased, cuddled, and just generally included in ALL family activities than any other child I know.  So were we just being selfish in our decision not to have more?

I think not!  Seriously.

But back to yon large woman with five hungry kidlets.  I consciously made the decision not to have more children because I KNEW there was a possibility that I may not have the resources to care for them.  It’s not difficult: you either can afford lots of children or you can’t.  Does the well-fed woman wonder what she could have done with her life .......... other than become a very big baby factory?

It isn’t made any easier by a government that throw money at women each time they reproduce and therefore these women somehow think that having more children equates having more money.  It’s desperately sad that my sister (a teacher) sees many girls leaving school before completion each year because they’re pregnant because their Moms sent them out to get pregnant in order to get the government grant.  What a waste of a life!

So possibly it IS the social responsibility of everyone not to overcrowd our, already flagging, economy with dozens of children.  And I’m not advocating the rather objectionable Chinese custom of “one child per family, or else” – give folk a choice.  But communities would fare a lot better if they made informed decisions based on forethought and planning rather than just hormones.

Ok, I’ll jump off my soap box ... for now.

Happy Day! J