Midnight Adventures I'd Rather Not Share


Well, this isn’t necessarily something that I would blog about but it feels like a story that should be told, so tell it I will.

 

I woke to the sound of hammering.  Persistent and LOUD hammering.  Instantly awake with my heart pounding in my chest I peered at the clock radio: four minutes to midnight.  WTF?!?  I lay still for a second trying to determine the actual location (a moot effort as most of you know that I am “rigting befok” because of my hearing problem) and the source of the hammering.  Having no luck I decided that I had better investigate in case someone was trying to break in.

 

Creeping silently from my bed and barely moving the curtain I surveyed the garden.  Nothing was moving although quite a few dogs in the nearby vicinity were barking.  The hammering stopped.  The silence hit my ears with a pop and I strained to hear anything through the hiss left behind.

 

Hearing nothing but my elevated heartbeat I crept out of the bedroom.  I could hear my neighbours talking.  Silly folk!  It’s a school night.

 

Eventually, my unsuccessful exploration finished, I climbed back into bed.  Before I could lie down the hammering started again.  Springing into action I grabbed the necessary weaponry and headed out of the bedroom once again.  I descended the steps carefully balancing on the outer edges so as not to make them creak.  I was NOT going to warn any would-be home invader of my presence.  Halfway down the steps the hammering once again stopped leaving only my drumming heart to accompany me the rest of the way down.

 

A thorough and lengthy investigation out of both the front and the back windows proved fruitless.  Nothing was moving and it appeared that the whole world, except for me, was fast asleep.

 

With a sigh I silently crept upstairs.  I didn’t want to make any noise in case Jerry woke up and used her best Krav Maga to whip her mother’s ass.

 

I settled back into bed with the inevitable wide-eyed knowledge that the adrenalin was not going to allow an easy return to slumber.

 

And then it began.  No, not the hammering … yet.  No, it was the neighbours.  It’s not the first time I’ve heard them.  They make no effort to hush their passion.  The problem is that the woman next door makes a noise that always makes me think of a child with a splinter in its finger.  It’s quite a remarkable feat how she manages to get that picture in my head.

 

And then, once again, the hammering.  Ah! Problem solved.  Merely a poorly assembled bed.   At least it wasn’t anyone breaking in.

 

The last time I squinted at my clock it was nine minutes past one.  I had planned to make as much noise as I could when I got up this morning but my neighbours had similar plans.  I will not allow them an easy Sunday morning, though ……….

 

Happy Day! J

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