The Story of Tom
Once upon a time there was a young boy called Tom. Thomas James Gettysburg – he liked to think of himself. That sounded like a grand and regal name. But he was just Tom. Tom Nel.
Tom lived with his mom, Sally. Life wasn’t always easy. Sally had lots of boyfriends and sometimes she left Tom alone for a few days. He didn’t mind. He was quite capable of looking after himself and getting himself to and from school. He quite liked school. Not all the subjects, mind you, but he did ok.
Tom’s dad, Steve, lived in another town so Tom didn’t see him very often. Once every few months Steve and his girlfriend, Barbie, came to visit Tom’s uncle Kevin on his farm. Tom’s mom would drop him off at his uncle Kevin and they would all spend the weekend together at the farm. Tom liked those weekends. There was always food to eat and sometimes treats, like biltong.
Tom wasn’t allowed the treats. But he knew that if he waited long enough, the adults would drink too much beer, act funny, yell and fight and then fall fast asleep, then he could help himself to as much biltong as he fancied.
One Friday Tom’s mom fetched him from school and when he put his school bag in the boot of the car he noticed his overnight bag was already in the boot. He asked his mom where they were going and she said that he was going to spend the weekend with his dad. Yay! Tom liked going to his uncle Kevin’s farm.
But Tom’s mom didn’t drive anywhere near uncle Kevin’s farm. Instead she drove quite far, past the big city and up into the mountains to the houses on the other side, and then a little further until eventually they arrived in front of a tall building. It had some shops at the bottom and flats at the top. He’d never been to his dad’s flat before.
His dad had just gotten home from work and seemed surprised to see him but in he went and his mom made him take his school bag too, although it was a bit pointless – he’d only been back to school for a week and didn’t have any homework.
Steve (Tom’s dad), lived in a flat with Tom’s older half sister, Jill, and Steve’s girlfriend Barbie. Tom thought that “Barbie” was a silly name for a big lady. When Tom looked around the flat he saw that it was choc-a-bloc full of stuff. Too much stuff. Piles and piles of papers. Broken appliances. Old radios. Tools. Computers. Even more piles of paper. And basically just lots of stuff. Tom thought that he could sleep on the couch, but Steve told him that he would sleep on the floor in Jill’s bedroom. It wouldn’t be very comfortable and he didn’t really know his half sister very well, but he dared not argue with his dad.
In the evening Barbie arrived home from work. Tom tried to stay out of her way as much as possible but it wasn’t very easy in the very tiny, very full flat. Tom didn’t like Barbie very much. She was always grumpy. She didn’t seem to like anybody, sometimes not even Tom’s dad. Tom thought that maybe she didn’t even like herself. Her mouth turned down at the corners like there were strings with tiny weights on the end pulling towards the ground.
The weekend was difficult. Tom felt like he was in the way and even Jill got cross with him when her boyfriend arrived and had to sleep in the lounge. Tom comforted himself with the fact that he’d go back to his mom on Sunday.
But by Sunday evening, when they hadn’t heard from his mom, Tom started to feel a little anxious. Steve was very cross that he couldn’t get hold of Sally – she wasn’t answering her phone – and he made Tom feel like it was his fault. Tom couldn’t sleep that night. What about school tomorrow? Would Steve drive him all the way there? It had been an awfully long trip on Friday from school to the flat – nearly two hours drive.
On Monday morning he got up and was about to put his grubby school uniform on again when Steve told him that he would just have to stay at home with Jill until he was able to get hold of Tom’s mom. Now Jill was cross again. She’d wanted to go out and now she had to stay all day babysitting Tom. She made sure he knew she was very cross.
That night Steve tried again and again to get hold of Tom’s mom until eventually she sent a message to his phone. Three words: “Just keep him”. Tom’s knees went weak. What had he done wrong? He always tried to be good. He didn’t like being in trouble. Now she didn’t want him. He must have done something very bad.
That night, again, he tossed and turned in his make-shift bed. Partly because it was very uncomfortable and the last four nights on the floor were taking their toll and his body felt bruised. And partly because he was trying to fight the rising terror. He would be dreadfully in the way if he stayed there. His dad worked long hours and his sister was already not liking him. And Barbie? How on earth was he going to keep out of the way of Barbie? She never smiled and when she spoke to him she always sounded cross and the corners of her mouth turned down even further as though he smelt bad. Maybe it was all just a big mistake. Maybe his mom would fetch him tomorrow.
The next night Barbie arrived home with a list of rules. He had to be in bed by eight. He had to bath in the afternoon. He could only put on clean clothes every third day. He mustn’t go out of the flat except to go to school. There were so many rules. He desperately hoped that he would remember them all. Barbie asked him to bring his overnight bag so that she could wash his clothes. She pulled everything out: five socks (two matching ones), three pairs of underpants, two pairs of torn shorts, two dirty t-shirts, one school shirt, one pair of school shorts and his school shoes. Barbie sneeringly asked where the rest of his stuff was. Tom was confused, and wondered what she was talking about. The overnight bag contained every last worldly possession Tom owned.
“Where’s your toothbrush?” now Barbie looked openly hostile. Tom murmured that he didn’t have one. He hadn’t said anything because he really didn’t want to be a bother.
Then Barbie told Steve that she’d found a new school for Tom. Wow! He hoped the people there were nice. He wished he’d had a chance to say goodbye to his old friends.
Barbie also told Steve that she’d made enquiries about what had to happen so that Steve could get custody. But then Steve got very cross and said to Barbie “That isn’t going to happen until I’ve had a paternity test done. I don’t want to have to pay for him unless I have to.” Tom couldn’t believe his ears. He felt close to tears so pretended that he needed to go to the bathroom so they wouldn’t see him cry. Twelve year old boys didn’t cry. No way! But cry he did. His mom didn’t want him and now his dad didn’t want him either. What was he going to do?
So Tom just carried on in a state of bewilderment. He started a new school with new people and new teachers and strict instructions from Barbie not to take more than one sandwich for lunch. He couldn’t understand why they didn’t have enough food at home. All his dad and Barbie needed to do was sell some of the stuff that was jammed into the flat. Then they’d have plenty money. And maybe if they didn’t go drinking every night – maybe then they’d have more money.
Either way Tom was a desperately unhappy little boy. His world had been turned upside down and nobody wanted him anymore – his dad had even said that if he didn’t like their rules he could go to welfare and his dad would give him the number to phone them.
All Tom wanted was someone, anyone, to just give him a big hug or ruffle his hair and tell him that everything was going to be alright ... oh, and a bed to sleep on. Was that too much for a boy to ask?
Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the child.
And the saddest thing is that this is a true story. It breaks my heart and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Tom lived with his mom, Sally. Life wasn’t always easy. Sally had lots of boyfriends and sometimes she left Tom alone for a few days. He didn’t mind. He was quite capable of looking after himself and getting himself to and from school. He quite liked school. Not all the subjects, mind you, but he did ok.
Tom’s dad, Steve, lived in another town so Tom didn’t see him very often. Once every few months Steve and his girlfriend, Barbie, came to visit Tom’s uncle Kevin on his farm. Tom’s mom would drop him off at his uncle Kevin and they would all spend the weekend together at the farm. Tom liked those weekends. There was always food to eat and sometimes treats, like biltong.
Tom wasn’t allowed the treats. But he knew that if he waited long enough, the adults would drink too much beer, act funny, yell and fight and then fall fast asleep, then he could help himself to as much biltong as he fancied.
One Friday Tom’s mom fetched him from school and when he put his school bag in the boot of the car he noticed his overnight bag was already in the boot. He asked his mom where they were going and she said that he was going to spend the weekend with his dad. Yay! Tom liked going to his uncle Kevin’s farm.
But Tom’s mom didn’t drive anywhere near uncle Kevin’s farm. Instead she drove quite far, past the big city and up into the mountains to the houses on the other side, and then a little further until eventually they arrived in front of a tall building. It had some shops at the bottom and flats at the top. He’d never been to his dad’s flat before.
His dad had just gotten home from work and seemed surprised to see him but in he went and his mom made him take his school bag too, although it was a bit pointless – he’d only been back to school for a week and didn’t have any homework.
Steve (Tom’s dad), lived in a flat with Tom’s older half sister, Jill, and Steve’s girlfriend Barbie. Tom thought that “Barbie” was a silly name for a big lady. When Tom looked around the flat he saw that it was choc-a-bloc full of stuff. Too much stuff. Piles and piles of papers. Broken appliances. Old radios. Tools. Computers. Even more piles of paper. And basically just lots of stuff. Tom thought that he could sleep on the couch, but Steve told him that he would sleep on the floor in Jill’s bedroom. It wouldn’t be very comfortable and he didn’t really know his half sister very well, but he dared not argue with his dad.
In the evening Barbie arrived home from work. Tom tried to stay out of her way as much as possible but it wasn’t very easy in the very tiny, very full flat. Tom didn’t like Barbie very much. She was always grumpy. She didn’t seem to like anybody, sometimes not even Tom’s dad. Tom thought that maybe she didn’t even like herself. Her mouth turned down at the corners like there were strings with tiny weights on the end pulling towards the ground.
The weekend was difficult. Tom felt like he was in the way and even Jill got cross with him when her boyfriend arrived and had to sleep in the lounge. Tom comforted himself with the fact that he’d go back to his mom on Sunday.
But by Sunday evening, when they hadn’t heard from his mom, Tom started to feel a little anxious. Steve was very cross that he couldn’t get hold of Sally – she wasn’t answering her phone – and he made Tom feel like it was his fault. Tom couldn’t sleep that night. What about school tomorrow? Would Steve drive him all the way there? It had been an awfully long trip on Friday from school to the flat – nearly two hours drive.
On Monday morning he got up and was about to put his grubby school uniform on again when Steve told him that he would just have to stay at home with Jill until he was able to get hold of Tom’s mom. Now Jill was cross again. She’d wanted to go out and now she had to stay all day babysitting Tom. She made sure he knew she was very cross.
That night Steve tried again and again to get hold of Tom’s mom until eventually she sent a message to his phone. Three words: “Just keep him”. Tom’s knees went weak. What had he done wrong? He always tried to be good. He didn’t like being in trouble. Now she didn’t want him. He must have done something very bad.
That night, again, he tossed and turned in his make-shift bed. Partly because it was very uncomfortable and the last four nights on the floor were taking their toll and his body felt bruised. And partly because he was trying to fight the rising terror. He would be dreadfully in the way if he stayed there. His dad worked long hours and his sister was already not liking him. And Barbie? How on earth was he going to keep out of the way of Barbie? She never smiled and when she spoke to him she always sounded cross and the corners of her mouth turned down even further as though he smelt bad. Maybe it was all just a big mistake. Maybe his mom would fetch him tomorrow.
The next night Barbie arrived home with a list of rules. He had to be in bed by eight. He had to bath in the afternoon. He could only put on clean clothes every third day. He mustn’t go out of the flat except to go to school. There were so many rules. He desperately hoped that he would remember them all. Barbie asked him to bring his overnight bag so that she could wash his clothes. She pulled everything out: five socks (two matching ones), three pairs of underpants, two pairs of torn shorts, two dirty t-shirts, one school shirt, one pair of school shorts and his school shoes. Barbie sneeringly asked where the rest of his stuff was. Tom was confused, and wondered what she was talking about. The overnight bag contained every last worldly possession Tom owned.
“Where’s your toothbrush?” now Barbie looked openly hostile. Tom murmured that he didn’t have one. He hadn’t said anything because he really didn’t want to be a bother.
Then Barbie told Steve that she’d found a new school for Tom. Wow! He hoped the people there were nice. He wished he’d had a chance to say goodbye to his old friends.
Barbie also told Steve that she’d made enquiries about what had to happen so that Steve could get custody. But then Steve got very cross and said to Barbie “That isn’t going to happen until I’ve had a paternity test done. I don’t want to have to pay for him unless I have to.” Tom couldn’t believe his ears. He felt close to tears so pretended that he needed to go to the bathroom so they wouldn’t see him cry. Twelve year old boys didn’t cry. No way! But cry he did. His mom didn’t want him and now his dad didn’t want him either. What was he going to do?
So Tom just carried on in a state of bewilderment. He started a new school with new people and new teachers and strict instructions from Barbie not to take more than one sandwich for lunch. He couldn’t understand why they didn’t have enough food at home. All his dad and Barbie needed to do was sell some of the stuff that was jammed into the flat. Then they’d have plenty money. And maybe if they didn’t go drinking every night – maybe then they’d have more money.
Either way Tom was a desperately unhappy little boy. His world had been turned upside down and nobody wanted him anymore – his dad had even said that if he didn’t like their rules he could go to welfare and his dad would give him the number to phone them.
All Tom wanted was someone, anyone, to just give him a big hug or ruffle his hair and tell him that everything was going to be alright ... oh, and a bed to sleep on. Was that too much for a boy to ask?
Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the child.
And the saddest thing is that this is a true story. It breaks my heart and there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
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